On the therapeutic trail families often attend sessions with professionals without knowing what to expect and how things will pan out. This article was written in May 2018 to address a few of these issues.
At the end of Session 1 with Family S, I told the parents I would call to fix up their next appointment. Both parents, and their son aged 11, were present throughout our first meeting. My reason to call later was also to let the parents know privately about the support they would require separately, which couldn’t be discussed when their son was around. When I did call to share this information the father said I could have told them all I needed to at the first session, the exams were starting in a week and I needed to get him better, etc. This is not the first time I needed to get into the details of how I work with a parent.
Many mental health professionals hear similar things on Day 1 from the families they will work with.
‘Tell Ma’am about all your difficulties.’
‘She is refusing to go to school for the past 3 months and has to take her exams next week.’
‘If you speak to him he’ll listen.’
Unfortunately, we are not the sole keepers of the magic formulas to wish these concerns away. For the most part, people are used to being given an immediate solution for medical problems at their doctor’s chamber. They, especially the extended family, are also not used to playing an active part in treatment. However, non-Medical Interventions typically require more time and regular follow-up to bring about change.
Building a relationship
Therapists will usually take steps to ensure a positive relationship, based on a degree of comfort and trust, is developed between all family members and themselves. The phrase ‘family member’ implies everyone, including the individual for whom help is being sought. How a therapist would go about building this relationship may vary. The time this takes also varies significantly from family to family.
For very young children this may mean allowing them time to familiarize themselves with the place and the therapist in as unobtrusive a way possible, preferably through things of interest.
For older children and young adults, this may mean creating a space where, among other things, they are given choices. For example, they have as much time to share their views as the adults, or they may just listen if they don’t wish to share. For every individual who will gladly sit outside to allow their family to confer with the therapist, there are numerous others who will wish to be present throughout.
Increasing Capabilities Collaboratively
Any plan towards some solution needs to be created through as much collaboration as possible. Most therapists will ensure all family members are involved, and play their part, in the therapeutic process. Encouraging and allowing a degree of control, dependence on oneself and ones skills, are often key to progress.
When knowledge and capabilities are bettered everyone will benefit.
If other family members are given the chance to observe how a therapist interacts (addresses concerns, broaches a difficult topic, rewords a complaint, etc), there is a greater chance the family will feel more able to cope with situations in real time, over time. This is often done in separate, private sessions.
Building a Foundation of Support Strategies Vs Dealing with a Crisis
A lot of times, therapists work under conditions where there are present (or past) concerns, but no immediate crisis. Therapeutic processes, if established at this time and continued consistently, are easiest on everyone collectively. It is harder, in terms of degree of involvement, time it takes, clarity of thought or emotional stability for example, to establish these processes in times of crisis.
This is often possible to do when dealing with a range of mental health, learning and developmental issues.
Clarifying Terminology
Which kind of therapy one provides, what that covers, how much of each is required, does time need to be set aside for it or not, etc. are common questions mental health professionals are asked. Clearing these doubts as soon as possible helps the process on smoothly. Some therapists will provide families with a brief explanation of how they will support them at the outset.
For example, Counseling is as much about participation in discussion, feedback and evaluation, as it is listening. Special Education is not just about academic learning. For certain diagnoses, it can also include strategies to develop self-help, communication, social, play and motor skills, among others.