The India Love Project (https://www.facebook.com/IndiaLoveProject/) brings together stories of love and marriage, and makes difference visible in the most heartwarming ways. In 2022 I wrote about us.
May we all be comfortable with difference...
A Jharkhandi/UP-ite Hindu Latin dance professional and a Bengali/Malayalee Christian disability and mental health professional walk into a studio… Aditya and I got married 6 years later, in 2011. Not because there was any convincing to do as a result of opposition, but because we were having a very good time together and just didn’t! Now, 10 years after the wedding, our two children symbolise diversity.
None of the particulars listed at the top factored into our conversations when we thought about starting our relationship, marriage, or having children. We got together because we cared for each other and enjoyed each other’s company.
Wedding planning was easy. We accommodated the dates of both families for two separate celebrations and planned a Goa holiday in between. Simply put, it was what do you care about, what do I care about, and let’s factor it all in. And importantly, we both care about some of the same things. Like a day-long winter picnic reception.
Everything before and after the wedding has pretty much been as simple. Maybe because difference to us doesn’t necessarily mean a misfit, or a hurdle. It’s also the promise of richness, discovery, and more interesting times. Our chosen professions are steeped in ‘different’. The embracing of other cultures, movements and languages from so many parts of the world through dance. The understanding of and advocating for diversity among people in our intersectional communities.
And because the two of us aren’t the same, in more ways than listed above, we bring different things to the relationship, to parenting, to our lives together and with others. Our story of diversity is one of great privilege and we are grateful it has been easy. Being comfortable with difference may be the key. Or at least a key.
